Invited Pain

Fooled once again.
Bamboozled once more.
Sometimes I wonder- do I do this intentionally? Do I do this to myself?

Although, this time something's different.
No tears fall from my eyes, and the pain within my heart is dull.
A familiar pain, a pain I know all too well; a pain buried deep in my heart.
A pain once so sharp, now dulled to a creeping ache.
A pain once so unbearable, I could take to my bed for days; and now the pain is so familiar- it barely changes my day-

Perhaps, I invite this pain, to give meaning to my craft.
Charging in knowing, I'll only end up back here-
With only a broken heart, and my dexterity to hold me near...